Thursday, September 05, 2013

The space in between

I've been thinking about the spaces in between, the silent pauses. The space in between where there can be hesitation, uncertainty, hope, procrastination, or maybe things we just can't know.

The space between jubilation on New Year's Day, celebration of a long-awaited football bowl game win. And a handful of moments later, a call from a telephone number that you know will bring news from afar, from hospice, that the end has come.

The space in between for a friend, finding a lump, and then tests and waiting and fear, and then knowing. What happens in the space between all that and the deciding to share that knowledge and fear?

We return back to wonder about these spaces, causing yet another pause. This moment of wonder becomes its own space in between. What happened in the universe and in us? How can we share our support for a person's journey, when we realize how far they've traveled without sharing it with us? Could we have been there? Could we have known? Could we have made a difference? How can we live differently? 

Should we? 

The spaces in between seem empty because we don't know what happened, and yet we what we do realize is that they're full, very full, of life, of impulses, struggles, sometimes just full of raw, adrenalized instinct. 

That pause, as someone tries to find the words to continue their half of the conversation. We ourselves clear our throats and search for words. That's a little space in between. And how much happens in that instant that we cannot even know, as we do it ourselves? 

So, too, yes, there has been a long space in between, here, filled with life, deep thoughtfulness and split instinct, struggle and celebration; plenty of adventures. In the space in between, I've thought of the stories that could evolve from these spaces -- my spaces -- how the words and ideas floated in my head, stories and threads. “What a great story this will make!”, I'd think, and I'd play with words for a little bit. Maybe the ideas and threads will come to together eventually with a definite structure, with words, pixels, text and images. 

Or, maybe not.

The space in between has been long. I have enjoyed just being in that space, to be truthful, living my life and not spending the energy to organize them in pixels and bits, letters and spaces. And at the same time, I've also missed sharing the stories and taking my place in this wide circle, part of a larger storytelling group.

And here, one more pause. Just after pressing the period key, a slight space in between that and reaching over my mouse, to click the “Publish” button. 

Then, *click*.

- - -  

On January 1, 2013, my Northwestern Wildcats won their first post-season bowl game in over 60 years. You know how much I love my Wildcats! Woohoo!
Moments later, we learned that J's mom had slipped away ... Peace.

Sending love to my blog buddy, Karen.